How to Find a Mentor in 5 (not-so-easy) Steps
Many misunderstand the importance of mentoring – finding someone to help you navigate your career path is however crucial to success. In particular, starting an LL.M in a different country, far from home, can be intimidating. Whether it is a language partner, career advisor or simply a friend, a mentor has many benefits. But believe it or not, there is a right and a wrong way to seek out a mentor. In many cases, the best mentoring happens without the formal label “mentoring”.
It is about the person, not their position
Like networking, don’t just find someone who has a job you want or an influence that could help you: mentorship is about the qualities of the mentor as an individual in the workplace. If your mentor is not honest or straightforward for instance, then you might not improve yourself.
So find someone that is just like you, with a similar set of strengths and skills. Someone with a similar background for example.
Don’t ask for the roadmap – ask for advice on how to navigate
Mentors do not have necessarily the answer to everything, but what they can do is to share wisdom and experiences. What we like about mentors is to sit with them and listen to their histories as much as we can.
Don’t ask simply about what to do, but ask if there is anything that your mentor would have done differently, if there is mistakes to avoid, etc.
So how can you find a mentor? There’s a few steps that usually work:
Step 1: Study the person
You need to do your homework: find out more about a potential mentor. Follow his/her blog, get to know people who know him/her and look at his/her work. Make sure to understand to the person.
Ultimately, start interacting with this person. Be helpful and supportive. Tweet out their posts, comment in a positive way on their blogs, share their updates, start a discussion on LinkedIn, etc.
Step 2: Don’t ask immediately for the person to “be your mentor”
Don’t ask for the person to “be your mentor” right off the bat. Instead, ask for an initial meeting – perhaps a coffee. Anything less than an hour.
Be flexible: people are buy, don’t approach them in the way that’s most comfortable for you. It could be that the best time to meet someone is right before work, early in the morning. You’ll need to adapt yourself to the person.
Once the relationship is established, then perhaps you can make it clear that you wish to establish an ongoing relationship where you can ask for advice and professional counsel.
Step 3: Bring something to the table
Remember to give and take – don’t be greedy. Mentorship is all about empowering each other, listening, giving advice, etc.
Ultimately, you want to be someone enjoyable to mentor. Be great at what you do, promote the success of others and be open and finally, build a support network.
When approaching a potential mentor, it is important to offer something in return. A special expertise, a willingness to learn more about your mentor, etc.
Step 4: Follow up, mentorship is not a life vest
It might be obvious but how many forgot to follow up immediately? It is important to say thank you to your prospective mentor for her/his time.
At the end, mentorship is not a life vest: you cannot reach for people only when you need them. Take some news of your mentor, continue to show interest, don’t wait until you are challenged.
Obviously, this will happen. You will get to a point where you will need the advice of your mentor for a decision or on the next step to take in your career. But make sure to check out your mentor for other reasons too.
Step 5: Ask for feedback and commit to the process
The whole point of mentorship is to get feedback, no matter how hard it can be. This is the way you grow. You should establish your goals talk with your mentor about them. If you don’t meet your goal, perhaps make a conscious decision to change direction.
Finally, mentoring takes time and real work. You will have to commit to the relationship. Follow the progress of your mentor as well as yours, participate in each other events, etc.
Here’s the bottom line: the answers to all your networking and career questions aren’t as far as they seem. They’re right inside you. Just understand that you have much more potential to offer. Imagine yourself in the shoes of those you deeply admire. And always conduct yourself in life and in work as one who is doing all that’s necessary to attract fabulous, hight-level help and support.
